Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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