I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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