...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
