i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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