I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
