I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
As shirtless as possible
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
