Nicole vs. Life
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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