what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
