I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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