Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
