I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she smelled like a LAN party
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
