i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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