well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
