Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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