I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
