how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
