Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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