just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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