i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
