do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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