Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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