What a fucking waste of an outfit
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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