why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
