Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
