Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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