Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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