i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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