I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
