my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
im calling her cock vulture from now on
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
