he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
