My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
