She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
