I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
