my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The Olympian is in my bed
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
