I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
