WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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