White coat. Heels.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
