Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
