if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
That accounts for only three of the penises
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
