I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We left the knife in your bed.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
