I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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