so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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