My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
