Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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