that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
