What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
