how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
