I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
