Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
