Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
