I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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